Crafting the Emotional Hook – A Dark Novel

I am a reader who needs to connect to one or more characters at the outset. Short of that, the story has to hit me emotionally in order for me to invest my time with it. Probably like you, I’ve read many books where I didn’t care about the characters, the setting or circumstances, and I ended up putting the book down, never to be picked up again.

I believe it was Stephen King who said, “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.” In other words, there has to be feeling and emotion in the book and it has to- simply has to- be felt by both the writer and the reader. If the writing is flat, the reader won’t be engaged and that will be the end of it. The chances are your other books won’t be purchased or read by that reader, and if the reader spreads the word- like they do, well, you can guess what happens.

This is the opening chapter of my newest book, Black Yéʼii.

Chapter One

Waukesha, Wisconsin

The doorbell rang, and Carmen Benevides opened the door to three kids she didn’t recognize. She assumed they were friends of Angel. Actually, she knew they weren’t kids, but at her age, anyone younger than she was a kid. And when they stormed into the house and the two boys threw her on the couch, she realized they weren’t friends of her son, either.

—

How did you feel as you read that paragraph? I’m sure there were questions, but what did you feel?

Here is the beginning of the second chapter of Black Yéʼii:

Chapter Two

Waukesha, Wisconsin

Angel cut his lights and then parked on a side street a block away from his home. He would not make the mistake of pulling into the driveway, or even parking in front of the house. He’d rather try to get to his house, and in it, undetected.

Angel wanted to believe he was over-reacting. He had thought about possibilities on the drive to his neighborhood.

Maybe the text was from his mom. Maybe she was sick, or maybe she fell and hurt herself. But as soon as he thought about it, he shook his head. He dismissed each possibility because he knew the truth. Yet, he hoped.

Angel reread the message.

            I need you to come home right away. It’s urgent.

He knew his mother did not write that text, because she never texted him. Never. Those weren’t her words, because when she spoke or wrote anything, she mixed Spanish with English. That was just her way, and both she and he would laugh about it. And her fingers hurt too much from arthritis, so she found it easier to call him. Even at that, she never called unless she needed him to pick up something from the store.

No, his mother did not send the text. Someone else did.

—

I’ll ask you the same questions as I did before: How did you feel as you read those pages? I’m sure there were questions, but what did you feel?

The emotional connection is of the utmost importance, and I would suggest to you, the emotional connection in any thriller, even any horror story is even more important. Otherwise, you have just a bloody and gory slasher story.

Think of the book and the movie, Jaws. That was a four character movie for the most part: the sheriff, the biologist, and boat captain, and the shark. Other than fear, did you have any emotional investment in either the book or movie? I didn’t, though I’ve read the book and watched the movie many times. I did care whether the sheriff and the biologist, and to some extent, the boat captain would survive. So I guess there was some emotional investment by me. But honestly, not much.

I think of Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, and I was much more emotionally invested in that book. Even though I knew they wouldn’t survive, I wanted them to. I silently cheered for them, urged them to find a way out. It didn’t happen, and it made me sad. There are countless books that moved me, and some brought me to tears.

I can tell you unashamedly that when I wrote, Fan Mail, I wept in several spots, both as I wrote it and as I edited it. Readers have shared with me they had a similar reaction. That’s an emotional connection.

My publisher, Black Rose Writing, came up with a promotional campaign and part of it was labeled, Emotional Hook. The first photo at the outset of this post is from that part of the campaign. Below are the pictures and the verbiage they had come up with:

You believe in promises, in the bonds that tie you to family. But what happens when those promises shatter? Angel Benevides made a pact to protect his loved ones, a secret buried after a night of violence. Now, that secret claws its way out, and the Black Yéʼii feeds on the exposed wounds of betrayal.
They’re coming for George Tokay. You watch, breathless, as loyalty is tested to its absolute limit and the crushing weight of grief threatens to pull everyone under. How far would you go when love means facing an ancient evil and the agony of loss?
Experience the heart-pounding journey of ‘Black Yéʼii‘, and prepare for a story that will stay with you.

Your past defines you, the scars—visible and hidden—tell your story. You see the young Navajo protagonist and Brian Evans in ‘Black Yéʼii‘ wear their traumas, not as marks of shame, but as symbols of their resilience against an encroaching spiritual darkness. It’s a raw, unflinching look at survival.
You’re drawn into their desperate struggle for hope as they confront pure, chaotic malice embodied by the relentless Landon Kerns and the ever-present shadow of the Black Yéʼii. Will they find redemption, or will the cycle of violence consume them entirely? The battle for Hozho, for balance, is brutal and deeply personal.
Discover the unyielding strength found in the fight for survival. Get ‘Black Yéʼii‘ and ask yourself: what does it truly mean to endure?

Darkness is real. You feel it in every scar, every whisper through the pines.
Black Yéʼii beckons you into a world where vengeance and heritage collide.
Are you ready to face the Evil One?

You thought you knew fear… until you enter the alleys of Waukesha at night. Every bloodstain, every echo of a scream, even a gasp, every scar tells a story of betrayal and redemption.
Black Yéʼii pulls you into an unforgiving battle between good and evil, where family loyalty can cost you everything.

—

For your convenience, I will include the links to both Fan Mail and Black Yéʼii below, though you can find each and all ten of my books on my website at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com

Fan Mail: Amazon: https://amzn.to/3eNgSdS

Black Yéʼii: Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DH8P5TNV

I would love to hear your thoughts would love to read your comments. Feel free to use the comment section below. As always, thank you for following me on my writing journey. Until next time …